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Stupidly... tight... jeans!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but this computer. All recognizable Glee characters belong to Messrs. Brennan, Falchuck, Ryan, et al.


How can he dance in those jeans? I’ve gotta talk to him about them, I don’t think they’re healthy. Or is that just for girls? I don’t know, maybe Rachel would know. But then I’d have to tell her why I’m asking about tight jeans seeing as she doesn’t wear them at all. Hmmm, maybe my mom would know.

It’s really distracting though. It makes me feel kinda funny to watch him moving his hips like that although it’s Sam who came up with those moves. Yeah, I better talk to Sam. I don’t like the way he has to touch him just to show him the right steps. He doesn’t touch any of the girls like that so he better stop. I don’t want to draw anybody’s attention to it but it’s almost indecent, the way he’s standing so close to him.

Oh, hey, he’s coming over and my face is feeling hot. I wonder why? I don’t think I’m coming down with anything. Man, I wish I hadn’t just looked down at his junk! Now he’s going to think I’m perving on him or something. Maybe I should just go talk to Mike or Artie before he gets here. Damn, those jeans are tight.

He’s looking after me as if he thinks something’s wrong. I don’t want him to feel bad; I just can’t talk to him while I’m feeling so confused. My breathing gets all kinda funny and when he looks up at me with those big (blue? green?) eyes of his I sometimes forget what he’d just asked me. Now he’s going back over to the girls and I can’t help staring at the way he walks and how those jeans make his butt look all high and round.

Hey, maybe now he’s back on the Cheerios he’ll have to wear his uniform the whole day like the girls do. Uhm, maybe not; that uniform really looks good on him and now that he’s grown a bit, more things are starting to show up and he really shouldn’t be looking so hot. Argh! I can’t believe I just thought a guy looks hot! I must really be coming down with something.

Mike and Artie are looking at me kinda funny and Artie is asking me if I’m okay. I don’t like lying but I can’t tell them that looking at my stepbrother makes me feel funny. They’d probably just laugh at me and I hate when people laugh at me. People think I’m dumb or dys_, uh, dys-something, but I get a lot of things people think I don’t.

Finally, Mr. Schue is dismissing us for the day and we can leave. Oh no, I forgot that I’m driving home with Kurt this evening. Oh man, he’s taking up his stuff and I know he’s going to come over and talk and look up at me and stuff and I hope my face isn’t all red and goofy-looking.

I call out to him and tell him I’ll meet him at the car; then I get my stuff and head out of the choir room with the guys. Kurt is following behind with Mercedes and Tina, giggling and making plans to go to the mall on the weekend. I need some new shirts too and a couple of jeans but my mom won’t be able to come with me. She’ll probably suggest I go with Kurt but I don’t know if I want to be around clothes and changing rooms when he’s with me.

Mike and Artie and me make our own plans for a game night, probably a marathon and Artie says he wants us to invite Sam and Puck as well. I tell them I don’t know if this weekend will work but I’ll check with my mom and Burt anyway. I know Kurt will be out shopping with the girls so who knows, maybe it might work out for Saturday. The guys would probably sleep over; we haven’t done one of those in a while.

I wait for Kurt beside his ‘baby’ and go over the songs we’ll be doing at Regionals soon. I look up when I hear laughter and see Kurt, Mercedes, Tina, Quinn, Santana and Brittany all piling out the doors. Rachel isn’t with them; she probably stayed back to grill Mr. Schue on the Regionals songs and I smile to myself. She’s really driven and I know if anyone will make it to Broadway, she will.

My eyes home in on Kurt, taking in the way the white jeans hug the curve of his thighs and draw attention to his junk. I would never have thought he was so well-en_, uhm, what’s the word? Anyway, he fills out his jeans really well and I don’t think he even notices that people stare. He probably thinks people are just checking out his designer clothes or something.

I shake my head and kinda smile because he’s smiling and looks so happy. Now that Karofsky is at another school and Principal Figgins says that anyone caught bullying will be expelled, the other bullies have toned things down to just shouting nasty things sometimes. Even that has eased off because I guess most of those douchebags are graduating and they are busy concentrating on what the heck they’re going to do after graduation.

Mercedes slides her arm around Kurt’s waist and he slips his around her shoulder and something in my stomach kinda tightens and I feel a little angry. I don’t know why that happens because I know she knows he’s gay but for some reason it’s really hard to watch other people touch him. It’s worse though when any of the other glee club guys touch him and I just want to rip their hands off of him. Hey, he’s my brother now and I gotta look out for him.

Come to think of it, I don’t like the way Puck is staring at him. I didn’t even notice he’d come out the doors behind Kurt and the girls but now Puck is hanging back as Kurt walks alone over toward me and his car. I swear Puck just licked his lips while staring at Kurt’s butt, dammit! I straighten up from leaning against the car and glare at Puck though Kurt hasn’t noticed him yet. When Kurt unlocks the car, he’s staring at me as if he’s wondering what’s wrong with me but I ignore him to continue glaring at Puck.

Everyone knows Puck is a man-whore, a sex-shark, and I don’t put it past him to try something with Kurt who is still pretty innocent. I have a feeling that even though Puck has screwed every Cheerio in the place, he wouldn’t have a problem trying to get into Kurt’s pants. Kurt’s kind of a girl, anyway; he’s even called himself an ‘honorary girl’, but I don’t think he could handle someone rough like Puck. I’m his brother, it’s my job to look out for him.

I wait for Kurt to slip into the driver’s seat and I shut his door for him. He’s looking at me kinda funny again but I’m too busy glaring at Puck who just grins at me and winks at Kurt before moving off to his truck. I walk around to the passenger side of Kurt’s baby and jump in, grumbling as I buckle up. Kurt is asking me if I’m okay but I just nod and tell him everything’s fine.

While we’re heading home I fiddle with the radio before finally popping in a cd. It’s stuff both Kurt and I like so I relax a little as he drives and I listen to him humming. He really has a nice singing voice but I like it better when he’s talking. His voice is sort of girly but it’s really musical and soft and even when he’s being all sarcastic and stuff, it still sounds nice. I would say it’s sexy but I don’t want to sound gay.

He’s telling me about his plans to go shopping with Mercedes and Tina on the weekend and I tell him I might have some of the guys over for a Call of Duty and Halo marathon and make a night of it. He nods and reminds me to get a ton of snacks and I tell him I already have a list of stuff in my head. He giggles, which I really like to hear and I turn to look at him. Unfortunately, my eyes fall to his thighs and I feel my face turning red again.

I’d been chewing some gum and I accidentally swallowed it which made me cough but when he reached out to touch my arm, I guess I kinda tensed up. I knew without looking at him that he had that hurt expression on his face but I knew that if I turned to look it would be gone. He’s really good at hiding his feelings but if you really look, his eyes give him away.

After a little bit I do turn to him, though, to let him know that I’d just swallowed my gum and, because I don’t want to ever see that hurt look again, I touch him. I rest my hand on his leg and now it’s his turn to go red. Actually it’s a pink that he turns but you know what I mean. I don’t move my hand for a while, just to let him know that I don’t really have a problem with him and now I don’t want to move it. I still feel bad so I decide to try to get him to smile and I joke with him a little.

When my mouth blurts out the question that’s been on my mind since morning, I swear he almost rode the curb, he was so surprised. He got even pinker but told me that the reason he wore most of his jeans so tight was that he liked shocking people with his outrageous outfits. I almost told him he was distracting them more than shocking them, but I didn’t want to go there.

One other thing he said that I don’t think I will ever forget, though: he doesn’t wear anything under those jeans.

Oh god, now I know what I’ll be thinking of when I hit the shower tonight...